You Sexy Thing
by xRJLupinx
Summary: Angel and Collins are very drunk, which leads Collins to start crooning out a Marvin Gaye song. Crackfic. Enjoy. XD


**Author's Note:** So, this is my first crackfic! XD This piece is dedicated to Heather, because she kept telling me how awesome crackfics are and wanted me to write one. So, feeling very sleep deprived, and then a little hyper from a cookie, I wrote this between 3 and 5 in the morning. It's by no means my best work, but it was fun to do! Also, I don't own the song 'You Sexy Thing'. I just heard amazing Marvin Gaye singing it, thought about how Jesse L. Martin really needs to make that Marvin Gaye film, and figured the song could work nicely for a little crackfic. So, enjoy!

* * *

Angel and Collins were definitely drunk. 

There was no other reason to explain all the empty beer bottles on the table, or their lazy, slumped position together on the sofa. To top it off, Collins had pulled out a joint and was puffing on it happily, with Angel contentedly lying across his lap.

"Honey, you smell…" Angel mumbled, staring up at the cloud of smoke emitting from Collins's joint.

Collins sniggered at her. "You just noticed that now, baby? I'm always using one of these, and you never said much about it before."

"I know," she agreed. "But looking at it this way, I just noticed how much stinkier it looks." Even so, Angel pulled the joint from his fingers and slipped it between her two lips.

"Hypocrite," Collins muttered, with a chuckle. "And 'stinkier' ain't even a word, I don't think. Well, whatever. We're havin' fun, ain't we?"

Angel let out a long puff. "Yep… But we're gonna pay for this so much in the morning. With terrible hangovers, and who knows…"

"Maybe not necessarily…" Collins mused.

Angel lifted her head, slightly more alert at this bizarre statement from Collins. "You're drunk…"

"Yeah, I know I am. What do you think you are?"

She swatted him in the stomach, and Collins groaned. "Ow… You got one hell of a fist on you…"

Angel gave him a stare. "As I was saying… You are more drunk that usual. Of course we're going to get hangovers tomorrow. Even you. Just because you probably drink more alcohol than the rest of us doesn't mean you're suddenly immune from the long, suffering consequences of the next morning…"

Collins grinned. "I love your reasoning, baby. But right now I'm too drunk to worry about that."

"You're jus' too drunk to function at all, Collins…" Angel slurred, turning over and nearly falling off the couch.

"You keep tellin' yourself that, Ang." Collins shook his head back and forth, still with a wide grin. "But right now I'm so drunk, I believe in miracles…" He began laughing maniacally.

"Huh?" Angel said, turning back to stare up at him. "I like to try and believe in miracles even when I'm not drunk. Oh…. But oh God, I'd love the miracle of not having a hangover later…"

Collins raised an eyebrow down at her and started crooning, _"Where you from? You sexy thing…"_

"Sexy thing?" Angel repeated slowly. "Aw, you're so sweet. And so drunk, sweetie…"

Collins just grinned wider and got more into it, singing louder.

"_Where did you come from, baby?  
How did you know I needed you?  
How did you know I needed you so badly?  
How did you know I'd give my heart gladly?"_

"I dunno. I guess I was just really lucky." Angel shrugged and smiled, sitting up and leaning back against Collins's chest. "Good thing I came from the street… or from heaven, as you always like to say…"

Collins pulled her closer to him by wrapping a hand around her middle and singing into her ear.

"_Yesterday, I was one of the lonely people  
Now you're laying close to me, making love to me."_

Angel blinked a few times. "Hey… You hold it a second there, Marvin Gaye. I have been with you for a long time now, so I don't know what you're talking about, singing that you're lonely. And secondly, I'm not making love to you right now." She smirked, batting her eyelashes at him. "I can change that, though…"

Collins's eyebrows waggled at her, and his only response was to repeat the chorus.

"_I believe in miracles  
Where you from?  
You sexy thing."_

"You sure are a sexy thing..." Angel interjected dreamily while Collins sang at her. "Sexy thing, you."

_"I believe in miracles  
Since you came along  
You sexy thing!"_

Collins scooted out gently from under her, standing up and doing a little dance before sitting on the table and looking across to Angel, singing to her as though he were having an intimate conversation

"_Where did you come from, angel?"_

"No, no, no..." Angel tutted, shaking her finger. "Now you've gone too far with these jokes..."

_"How did you know I'd be the one?"_

"I just felt it," Angel responded with a smile.

_"Did you know you're everything I prayed for?"_

"Well, I dunno, I mean, I never see you pray much…"  
_  
"Did you know every night and day for  
Everyday, you give me love and satisfaction."_

Angel smiled, tilting her head. "Aww, you do that to me, too, honey…"  
_  
"Now you're laying next to me  
Giving it to me!"_

"What? No, I'm not! But if we just go to bed I can make those lines correct…"

"_I believe in miracles!" _Collins crooned, standing up and beckoning to Angel to stand up with him.  
_"Where you from?  
You sexy thing."_

"You sexy thing, you," Angel joined in momentarily, getting up to join him. Collins took hold of her waist as he continued on.

_"I believe in miracles  
Since you came along  
You sexy thing!"_

Then, to Angel's delight, Collins went on with what was her favorite part of the song for the night.

"_Ohhh, kiss me!" _Collins implored at her. _"You sexy thing."_

Angel smiled. "Now there's something I can do," she said, eyes brightening up as she held the back of his head gently, then coaxing a finger under his chin and pulling Collins forward into a passionate kiss.

Then Collins broke off, looking estatic and wild, crying, _"Touch me, baby, you sexy thing!"_

"Will do..." Angel murmured, as she snaked her fingers around his chest, enjoying the feel of his body underneath his clothes and moving her hands down.

_"I love the way you touch me, darling,"_ Collins groaned, carressing her body back into his. _"You sexy thing."_

Angel smirked. "Come on, sexy, time to make those other lyrics from before come true." She winked, grabbing at his hand and pulling him toward the bedroom.

Collins winked back at her. _"Ooooooh sexy, you sexy thing!"_

"Indeed, you are, even when we're both totally drunk," Angel mused, before kissing him all over again.

_"I love the way you hold me, baby_," Collins muttered into her lips.

She giggled softly, continuing to kiss him until Collins suddenly cried out, _"It's ecstasy!"_ and slapped her rear, running into the bedroom.

"Oh, damn. It's Marvin Gaye gone wild," Angel said to herself with a giggle, smiling widely before following Collins in and shutting the door.


End file.
